Put Love First

"...I began to see the trap 'honesty' can be. It had become my highest value - 'honesty at any cost.' This meant that I worshiped honesty." - Keith Miller, Habitation of Dragons

"If he [was honest] for the sake of having a good conscience, he would become a Pharisee and cease to be a truly moral person. I think that even saints did not care for anything other than simply to serve God, and I doubt that they ever had it in mind to become saints. If that were the case, they would have become only perfectionists rather than saints." - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind. And love your neighbor as you love yourself." - Jesus in Luke 10:27 (God's Word)

They say that the good can be the enemy of the best. It's a struggle the church and God's people have struggled with forever. We build our theologies, our moral systems, our organizational structures, our worship services, our devotional time, and one thing stands out as the thing - the most important thing, the ideal that overshadows all others.

In Habitation of Dragons, Keith Miller points out how "total honesty" can become our god. Honesty is good, but when it becomes our highest value, it trumps love. "Total honesty" isn't a concept the Bible promotes, yet it is one the church often teaches.

It sounds so good. What could be wrong with speaking the pure truth?

Corrie ten Boom

There are times when speaking the whole objective truth isn't the loving thing to do. One example comes to mind, something that has always seemed both noble and unsettling to me. In The Hiding Place, Corrie ten Boom tells how her family hid Jews in the crawl space beneath their kitchen. There was a secret door under a rug under the kitchen table, and when the Nazis ask her where they were hiding Jews, she believed she has no choice but to speak the literal truth: "Under the kitchen table."

And then she laughed.

It was obvious to the German soldiers that nobody was under the table, and ten Boom had a clear conscience. She had, after all, spoken the absolute truth while trusting God to take care of things. Two things about this disturb me: ten Boom doesn't seem to be speaking the truth in love but out of fear, and her laughter turned the literal truth into a lie.

I am not faulting her for what she did. Corrie ten Boom was a saint who loved the Jews and saved many from the death camps. She trusted God with her life. It was her slavish devotion to being "totally honest" that disturbed me first, and her mocking that truth through laughter that seemed both clever and disturbing. If honesty is the highest value, laughing it off like that is the moral equivalent of lying.

Still, it worked, and it's possible that ten Boom was so averse to speaking even a partial untruth that a lie would have been obvious to the soldiers, so she did the mental gymnastics, spoke the objective truth, and misled with a laugh.

The True Church

I grew up in a denomination that had separated from another denomination when it saw the truth of the gospel being compromised - men whose beliefs were outside the realm of the Reformed confessions were allowed to preach freely, while those who said that they were wrong were told to be silent. This situation wasn't much different from the one Martin Luther had faced centuries earlier.

Ever since the Reformation divided the holy catholic church in Europe, the concept of the true church has played a huge role. If the church contradicted the clear teachings of Scripture, it had embraced the lie and become a false church. And the Reformed fathers knew exactly how to define the true church:

1. Teaching sound doctrine
2. Right administration of the sacraments
3. Right administration of discipline

They knew exactly what doctrine was sound, exactly how the sacraments should be administered, and exactly how church members with moral failings should be disciplined. And any time a denomination allowed any preacher to teach anything different or added another teaching to that exact set of doctrine, dissenters had the right and obligation to condemn it, try to change it, remove themselves from it, and purify the church.

And that's why there are so many brands of Christianity today, especially here in North America. This group left that group over some issue. Later on, another group left the first, and then another group splintered off. Two groups decided to unite - but some couldn't compromise and remained true to whatever issue it was that had been so important 100 years earlier.

I remember meeting with a local pastor from a small Reformed denomination who firmly believed that any church that didn't adhere to Reformed confessions and the unmodified Church Order of Dort was less than true - and, as believers, we had an obligation to only align ourselves with the most true church we could find.

The church, once divided over grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone, is now broken over baptism, Bible translations, free will, hymns, musical instruments, spiritual gifts, women's roles, abortion, homosexuality, alcohol, tobacco, movies, gambling, racism, church order, technology, and the end times.

The Danger of Being Right

Complete devotion to truth and honesty - who could oppose that?

Jesus, for one. The rabbis had taken the Book of the Law and analyzed it, dissected it, put it under the microscope, and defined exactly how many steps constituted working on the Sabbath.

Where they wrong to define observance of the law as precisely as possible? Are we wrong to define truth as precisely as possible?

The law is good. Truth is good. Honesty is good. Accuracy is good. But none of these are gods, nor is blind devotion to them a path to God. If anything, they may feed our pride and make us less loving.

The law is good, but not because it makes us righteous or right with God. The law is good because it shows us where we fall short and need grace - not more self-discipline - to be right with God. And the law is good because it shows how we should respond to God's love and the grace bestowed upon us.

The truth is good, but not because it brings us to God. The truth is good because it's a measuring stick - and because God hates lying lips. Jesus said, "I am the Truth." God is Truth, and God's truth convicts us of unrighteousness and draws us to his love. There is a truth more important than "the truth".

The Mark of the Church

Love is the mark of God's children and of the church. The book of Acts records how the believers loved each other and made sure everyone's needs were met. In the third century, Tertullian wrote: "But it is mainly the deeds of a love so noble that lead many to put a brand upon us. See, [those outside the church] say, how they love one another...." (Apology 29:7)

The world tends to view the church in a different light today - many see us as judgmental and controlling. They don't see us as a people of peace, love, and open arms.

Why? Because the church has been strident. It has used its power to condemn fellow believers. It has used its power to shape societies and legislate morality. Over the last 150 years, "the church" has opposed slavery, alcohol, theater, women in the workplace, rock and roll, abortion, drugs, and homosexuality. In doing so, it often has judged and not loved slave owners, drinkers, theater goers, working women, rockers, abortion providers and recipients, drug users, and homosexuals.

As though Jesus didn't come to save the lost.

The true church is known for love - God's love for the world, our love for God, his love within each of us, the love we have for each other, and the love we have for those who don't know God's love.

Truth and honesty are important, but the truth should always be spoken with love among us (Eph. 4:15). Sound doctrine is important, but we need to love those who disagree with us. We should never make the church so pure that it becomes anticeptic, sterile, judgmental, and condemning.

"If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God's secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn't love others, I would be nothing." 1 Cor. 13:2 (NLT)

"All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.
"Three things will last forever - faith, hope, and love - and the greatest of these is love.
"Let love be your highest goal!" 1 Cor. 13:12b-14:1a (NLT)

"Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins." - 1 Peter 4:8 (NLT)

The good can be the enemy of the best. If you find yourself putting anything ahead of loving God and your neighbor, remember that love is the best and keep "the good" in perspective.

Becoming Unchurch

Has it ever struck you how much the church has turned into the same kind of thing that Israel and the Jewish faith were during Jesus' time? Like them, we have taken the good news of liberation and blessing by God, and we have built around it a scaffolding of rules, a structure of conformity, and walls of tradition.

We are called the children of God and the body of Christ. We are to be led by the Spirit. We are supposed to be known by our love for each other. We are supposed to be a people saved from sin, transformed by grace, and alive to God, yet we continually trap our individual and communal lives in the same kind of institutions without giving it a second thought.

Church

In too many ways, we have become what we should not be. Over the past 2,000 years we have transformed good news into rules, helpful practices into traditions, and put braces on perfectly healthy legs. Too often we don't run the good race with joy; instead we plod along feeling empty but acting like we are full.

This is nothing new. It is human nature to change things, to reshape them so we can better understand them, to build systems so we can better see the whole structure and understand the parts, to codify that which is living and become more interested in the classification system than the thing it studies.

You can read about horses until you know everything about them, but until you have experienced horse, it's just theory.

You can read about God until you know everything about him, but until you have experienced God, it's just an empty shell of religion and theology. We can debate the mysteries of faith and wrap our minds around the tiniest details of religion, but knowledge is not saving faith.

Religion can be a pretender, church can be a panacea, Christianity can be a worldview that blinds us to the truth. "Knowledge puffs up," as the apostle Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 8:1. The prophet Isaiah says:

The Lord says, "These people worship me with their mouths and honor me with their lips. But their hearts are far from me, and their worship of me is [based on] rules made by humans." (Isaiah 29:13, God's Word)

Unleashed

Jesus called God's people away from a life of rules and complacency to a new life of love, grace, peace, and power.

Two thousand years ago, his words addressed the Jews. Today, they speak to the church. He is calling us out of the man-made structures of denominations and congregations and theologies and traditions; he calling us into a world that doesn't know him - a world that sees Christians as hypocrites, the church as an institution of control, and God, if they acknowledge that he exists, as an uncaring or malign deity who brings cancer on children and disasters on nations.

We need to stop playing at church while the world - including many within the institutional church - is going to hell. We need to break down the walls of tradition, dismantle the scaffolding of the law, and stop limiting the gospel of God's love by the box we put it in. We need to be in the world walking by grace, living in love, and led by the Spirit.

Unchurch

We need to become unchurch.

I don't know exactly what that entails. It doesn't mean tossing out all of our theologies and traditions. There's a lot of good there.

It does mean putting them in perspective. Our theologies and traditions should never define us; they should serve the gospel, not reshape it. That has happened far too often. If they were not good to some extent, we never would have held on to them.

Jesus understood the value of enduring truths: "Every teacher of religious law who becomes a disciple in the Kingdom of Heaven is like a homeowner who brings from his storeroom new gems of truth as well as old." (Matthew 13:53, NLT) For those alive to God, theologies and traditions take on new meaning.

Becoming unchurch doesn't mean becoming unchurched; it means becoming the kind of Christian who lives as a disciple and ambassador when gathered with other believers and when outside of religious settings. It means being conformed to Christ and living in the world while no longer being of the world.

Broken

By birth and though our environment, we are broken creatures. We don't know our purpose in life, and our first instinct is to take care of ourselves - to cry when we're hungry or need a fresh diaper as babies, to draw attention to ourselves or away from ourselves in social settings as we grow up, to control that which threatens us as much as we can, and to seek happiness, however we define it.

We are by nature selfish creatures. We think that we know best what is best for us. And that is exactly the thing that got us into trouble in Eden, when Eve agreed with the deceiver that the one thing God withheld from us - knowledge of good and evil - would make her wise (Genesis 3:5-6). Our selfish desires remain the biggest obstacle to having a right relationship with God.

Selfish Theologies

Christians have been guilty of using self-interest to promote the gospel when we assume that the whole point of religion is avoiding hell and getting to heaven. It's something we often do without a second thought.

Here are some examples:

• If there is no god, you lose nothing eternal by believing. If there is a god, you gain eternity after this life.
• Hell is a really nasty place where God will send you for breaking even one of his rules. If you don't want to spend eternity there, you'd better put your faith in Jesus.
• Just say the words "Jesus is Lord", and you will be saved.

The problem isn't that these are lies or that they are only partial truths. The problem is that they place you at the center of things, as though time and eternity were made for you, as though getting into heaven is the goal of this life, as though your eternal happiness is the most important thing.

Purpose

God had a plan in eternity. He would craft a universe, our sun, and our planet (Genesis 1:1). He would populate it with an amazing variety of creatures. He would form a being in his own image - one with reason, creative thought, hopes, and the ability to say No.

The question this experiment was meant to answer: Can those who turned their back on their creator be made whole? How can those who rebelled against God be brought into a right relationship with him?

Pride, ego, and selfishness brought rebellion in heaven, and the leader of that action in turn broke our relationship with our maker at the start of human history by appealing to Eve's desire for wisdom. If selfish desire made this mess, we should never believe that it's also going to make things right.

That is why I am going to do something completely amazing for these people once again. The wisdom of their wise people will disappear. The intelligence of their intelligent people will be hidden. (Isaiah 29:14, God's Word)

Unlike the fallen angels, who were created perfect and chose rebellion, since the days of Adam we are born into sin. It's the air we breath. It's part of us. It's the one thing that separates us from God - and the one thing he wants to extract from us. But he doesn't force that on us; he wants us to choose to love and worship him for who he is, not because he can give us we want.

The Heart of the Gospel

We were made to know and worship God, the one who planned us and made us and knows everything about us and still loves us. He loved us before he made us, and he wants to break through our selfishness so we can experience the freedom of his love.

How much does God love us? Enough to take care of Adam and Eve after they chose sin. Enough to save Noah and his family from disaster. Enough to visit Abraham as a man. Enough to give Joseph the wisdom to understand dreams and save two nations. Enough to speak to his people through prophets, calling them away from their selfish ways.

How much does God love us? Enough to take on flesh and live among his chosen nation 2,000 years ago. Enough to teach us about the kingdom of God. Enough to die an excruciating and unjust death even though he had never sinned. Enough to break the power of sin and begin to make all things new.

How much does God love us? Enough to die in our place. Enough to dwell within his people. Enough to draw sinners to himself. Enough to transform murders and thieves and abusers and anyone else into children of the light. Enough to heal our brokenness. Enough to speak to us and accept our worship as his greatest treasure.

For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16)

Our Calling

God asks one simple - but not easy - thing of us: That we trust him. That we know he loves us, forgives us when we repent, and has a plan for this life and the next. That we believe in the one who showed us love through his death. That we live as though nothing is more important to us than making God smile.

It's not easy. We have had our trust betrayed so many time in so many ways that it's hard to believe that anyone - especially the God who knows our every failing - is trustworthy. We have been wounded so many ways that we find it hard to believe that God won't turn against us if we don't obey every last law. We are so broken that we have a hard time conceiving of any other way of living.

Healing

Because God knows and loves us, the biggest thing he can do is show us that our trust in him is not misplaced. He is trustworthy. We can count on his love. We can know that his plan for us is good, even when things seem to disprove that. God is dependable, reliant, safe. He is our comfort and joy. He is our security.

We come to God and freely acknowledge our failings so we can be free from the power of sin. We find integrity when we abandon pretense and honestly approach our loving Father. We find healing when God smiles at us.

We are called to bask in God's smile continuously, to walk in this world trusting his plan, to share with others how God has broken through our pride and selfishness in the hope that they will accept the same freedom so freely given.

God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life.

God loves everyone and desires that everyone turn to him. But how will they know if we don't share the truth that burns within us? How will they know if we only surround ourselves with other believers? How will they know if we don't share the story of what God has done in our lives with those who need his healing?

It's important to spend one-on-one time with God. It's important to talk with him and listen for his voice. It's important to worship him alone and with others. It's important to meet together and encourage each other in the faith.

Becoming Unchurch

But it's most important that we share the hope within us with those who need it. They're not likely to come to our churches and Bible studies; we need to meet them where they are. We need to stop living like Sunday morning worship is the important thing.

God has liberated us from the stranglehold of selfishness and blessed us with new life because he loves us and wants to restore us.

Imagine finding a '57 Chevy rusting in a field and restoring it to its original form.

The world is full of rusty old cars, lives in need of rehabilitation. We need to see them out there in the fields and junkyards rather than drive past with our car stereos and iPods blaring Christian music. We need to let them know that they don't have to sit and rust, that God is looking for cars to restore.

That's a big part of becoming unchurch - touching lives with our stories so they can have their own stories of restoration. The goal isn't getting them to say the sinner's prayer or come to church; the goal is new lives made from old, brokenness and selfishness transformed into wholeness and love.

We can express that in our personal devotions, our Bible studies, and our church services, but it means the most when we share it with those who don't yet have a story of how God changed their lives.

That's why we need to become unchurch, so we can reach the world with God's transforming love.

Addendum

I should make it clear that I am writing as someone who grew up in the church - mostly here in Grand Rapids, Michigan - and loves the church. The problem is that organizations tend to develop a club mentality, making the club the focus rather than the club's mission. I'm sure there are lots of healthy churches out there successfully helping their members focus on the mission of seeing lives transformed by God's love, both within and outside of the church.

The important thing isn't our style of worship, our organizational structure, our budget, or our programs. The important thing is remembering what God has done in us and sharing that with each other and the world to draw all nearer to God.

About Unchurched

Sometimes God gives you a word - just one word - and leaves it to you to figure it out. Sometime in the past year, he gave me unchurch. Unchurch. Not even a real word. Well, not one I'd ever heard.

I've shared the word with a few friends and church leaders, but I still haven't been able to wrap my mind around it. I know that it means we (the church) have to break out of the church (structure, tradition, organization, defined culture) to become the kind of people God can use to reach the unchurched.

Unchurch. It's both a judgement of what we have become over 2,000 years and what we have to become to be salt and light in a broken world.

It's a simple concept, but a huge one that redefines our purpose, just as Jesus, St. Paul, the prophets, and other reformers have done over the years when their hearts break over what the people of God have become - an organization with rules and traditions and the ability to withhold love from some of the people God loves and wants restored.

This blog is my place for wrestling with who we are, who God wants us to be, and how we can get there. I hope it will bless and challenge you.

Dan Knight,
redeemed and remade